Molly Deal

Gone but will never forget

Sat, 07 Jun 08 00:15:46 +0200

I have been home for a week now and the adjustment has been a bit more of a challenge than expected but we're getting there...

As anticipated, the last week+ at Bobbi Bear was incredibly busy for me. Not only did I have a number of documents to get together for the girls' case, I also had my final Tree and my farewell with the Bobbi Bear staff.

A quick update on the girls' case: court should be next week sometime. I know that even though myself, BB and the police officers pushed and pushed to keep the kids safe that there is a good chance that they may be returned to the hands of their abusers if social welfare has their way. As I was getting ready to leave I was very stressed that there seemed to be nothing more that we could do at Bobbi Bear to keep them safe. Days before I was to leave, I was thrilled to learn that a feisty children's advocate had agreed to take the girls' case (pro bono, cuz there's no money for lawyers!)!!!! Jackie and I went in to Durban on the Sunday (the day before I was to leave) to meet with this lawyer and and 4 hours later I walked out so much more relieved with the knowledge that they may still have a chance now adding a new member to the team to fight for them! I am still in touch with the goings-on and the case so will keep you updated as well...

My Good-byes: I didn't want to go. I found my place in Bobbi Bear quite naturally and in my short time there made very strong connections, not only with the women at BB, but with the all of other people that I had met and worked with during my time in SA as well. The women that comprise Bobbi Bear are a diverse and wonderful group, they stole my heart and I hope that I stole a bit of their hearts too.

When volunteers arrive they are introduced at their first Tree and similarly you have a final Tree where you say good-bye to the women at the Tree and they to you. Of course, the women sing and pray, you're given your Zulu name and as a volunteer you may (try to) dance. As I was leaving a week earlier than the other volunteers, I had my Tree alone....I was a bit nervous to Zulu dance (especially by myself), I'm not as limber as perhaps I should be and you need to be flexible to kick that high!!! I was so pleased and relieved when ALL the CSO's came to my Tree, not only were they all there but they got dressed with me and danced with me too! I knew that they were as sad to see me go as I was to leave.

Some of the CSO's and I were joking around weeks back and they had taught me a song in Zulu that I thought was hilarious, I told them that I wanted to sing it for Jackie at our Bobbi Bear Farewell, figured she'd get a kick out of it too! To my surprise Ladyfair, Thandeka, Sdudla, Mildred, Thuli and Auntie Sweetie had other plans; they wanted me to sing it to Jackie AND in front of all of the ladies at the Tree! Always in for a fun time and having learned that you don't argue with Auntie Sweetie, I happily acquiesced and have the video to prove it. After that performance and some more singing and carry-on was time for my blessing. It was beautiful and very moving for me as all of the CSO's and Jackie encircled me and sang as I was being blessed. The Zulu name given to me was 'Thandekile' meaning 'you are lovable'.

I will be writing a few more posts and adding some more pics (I hope), so don't think it's the end of me yet!

Going home, areas of need and plans for sustainability

Sun, 18 May 08 22:00:21 +0200

My days are numbered here now. Even after extending my stay I’m not sure that I’m ready to leave quite yet, I have A LOT of things that need to get done this week. But, I do realize that I need to get back to my life so that I can continue to pay my bills!

What became abundantly clear upon my arrival here a couple of months ago is the amount of need for everything. The obvious need is easy to see when the kids show up without shoes, clean clothes and most importantly, without parents. Operation Bobbi Bear itself relies on donations from the local community. There is a local grocery store that provides regular food donations as well as a variety store that donates any applicable items that can be included in our rape kits; however there is a desperate need for regular and consistent support. I'm including the list below for a number of reasons: 1) You never know whose reading this blog and what connections, commitment or amount of money they have 2) I would like to see if I can get some people together to commit to making a monthly donation that can go towards a CSO salary, money for stock etc, and 3) As a reference for future volunteers coming into the program.

The list below includes both basic supplies needed to maintain operation of the program as well as continuing education of and investment in the Child Safety Officer’s:

- Stock for Emergency Care Cottages (wet wipes, baby hygiene products, any household items, clothes for all ages/ genders, food staples)
- Stock for rape kits (boys/ girls underpants, drink boxes that won’t burst, sanitary napkins, wet wipes, crayons/ colouring books)
- New cell phones for CSO’s (as many are old and unreliable)
- Projector for training
- 3+ new desktop computers

Also need money for:
- CSO salaries
- Budget for private social worker/ advocate (if you’ve read my blog then you know why
- Video equipment fort statement taking
- CSO training on computers (Internet, Word, Excel, PPoint, typing)
- CSO’s to be able become a trainer
- CSO to take a paramedic course
- All CSO’s to be trained in HIV/ AIDS pre/post counseling
- ‘Hero’ program (approx 1200 rand/ month)
- Printing information pamphlets to be distributed within the community and at schools
- Transport and fees for children’s hospital/ doctor visits
- Uniform for CSO’s
- Production of more bears
- Pattern-maker for:
o New face for bear
o Prototype for speaker bear
o Update edu-toy
- Saturday support group (food and fun) approx 500 rand
- Bobbi Buddy shirts for all children at support group

Donation money can be sent to the following address: Bobbi Bear Fund
First National Bank
Amanzimtoti
Account No: 620 1861 9471
Branch Code: 220127
NPO No: 015 208

If you would like to specify what your funds are to go towards then please do so by sending a message with your bank transfer or contact Bobbi Bear at +27319032424

FUTURE BOBBI BEAR VOLUNTEERS: fill your bags with kids clothes/ shoes that you've gathered from family and friends, then you'll also have room for souvenirs when you head home!

FRIENDS/ FAMILY: let me know if you're willing to put aside a nominal fee per month to send to the project to help keep it running and maybe even help it grow!!

Cheers, Molly

We made the newspaper!

Sat, 26 Apr 08 21:08:42 +0200

Brothel children stay in care
Carvin Goldstone
April 26 2008

"The battle for the custody of the two little girls aged two and four, who were rescued from a brothel at Mount Vernon in Hillary earlier this year, continued in the Children's Court on Friday, with the magistrate ruling that the children remain in the custody of foster parents until the matter returns to court on June 10.

The children were staying with their father and grandmother when police acted on information that the home they were living in was being used as a brothel.
Bellair police swooped on the home in February and arrested three women, including the children's grandmother. The women were released and fined R500 each.

The children were placed in the protection of children's protection organisation, Operation Bobbi Bear.

The children are now in the care of foster parents until the court decides if the children can be released back to another member of their family or if they should stay with the foster parents.

This week the case attracted high-level attention after Bobbi Bear approached ACDP MP Jo-Ann Downs who brought the matter to the attention of MEC for Social Welfare, Meshack Radebe, in the provincial parliament on Thursday.

Radebe said when he was briefed by the care workers from Bobbi Bear and Downs about the case he "went cold".

He said they were aware that they could not interfere with the law.

Radebe has appointed the most senior official in his department in Durban to investigate the case further and make sure the well-being of the children is given top priority."

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20080426090833331C313802

The Past Week - Part 2

Fri, 25 Apr 08 22:42:28 +0200

So I've not updated the situation with the girls because it has been tenuous this week, and we've been working our asses off! Our court date last Friday was postponed until Monday. On Monday our team showed up at court with our hope and our bears - I must tell you, these children are lucky, they have people fighting for them including a ploice duo who have been committed to making sure these children are not placed in the same environment from whence they came. After many hours the magistrate decided that there was reason to investigate the alleged granny's sisters situation (as she's had a history of being connected with brothels). She remanded the case until Friday (today) giving us and the police only 3 days for the police to investigate and for us to do what we could on our end. Keep in mind that we still haven't been able to get paternity established...I'm still amazed that at this point we've not been able to determine who these children actually belong to, who their parents are.

I wish I could show you pictures of these spirited and beautiful girls and could explain how much they've blossomed since they've been in Bobbi Bear and the foster parent's care! They deserve a chance to be little girls and to have full and rich lives.

This week has been incredibly stressful, I've been on the phone to anyone and everyone who could help us and have been crossing my fingers the whole time. Yesterday, myslef and Mildred (CSO at BB) were taken through to Parliament to have a meeting with the Minister of Social Development. The MP who brought us through and set up the meeting also believes that these children deserve a chance and that we and the children are being let down by social welfare in SA (this is a whole separate message). We discussed both the girls case and another urgent case where social welfare
has been appalling, during our meeting I told the Minister tht we would be in court the next morning and that there was a strong chance that the girls would be placed back in the care of extended family if the police didn't come up with something. The Minister then told us that he'd like to be at court with us and that he was shocked with his social welfare department...of course I was ecstatic (although cautiously so). The MP that brought us thorugh also made a passionate plea in Parliament detailing the two cases, it was amazing to see and Mildred and I gave a big 'high-five' at the end, 'Yes! we made parliament!!!' I was thrilled to let social welfare know that we had met with the Minister and that he was aware of the case and how poorly mishandled - needless to say they crapped their pants a bit :) and, to our surprise, the girls social wroker's manager showed up this morning at court...

This morning, after a somewhat sleepless night I began my morning with some music to get me in the mood and we headed off to court. I had reservations about the minister showing (he didn't), social welfare, who has sided with the alleged granny all along solidified their position today. After a number of hours, the commissioner ruled that the children were to stay with the current foster parents for now (yes!) pending further investigation into the family. The police officers (who might go into withdrawal not hearing from me tomorrow) did an amazing job and have shown great commitment to this case. Wow! I was and still am shocked but over the moon!!! They girls are safe, healthy and happy, for now.

Oh, by the way, I'm staying in South Africa longer :) Work doesn't miss me so got the thumbs up, here until the end of May now.

Signing off, tired and happy,
Molly

The Past Week - Part 1

Fri, 25 Apr 08 21:45:42 +0200

Our kids were back on Saturday and when my girl saw me she ran right over, oh, pure joy. Sdudla came up to me and showed me the baby's bottle, filthy with the nipple chewed off. Every day here reality slaps you in the face, we have soooo much in Canada, never would we see children walking around with no parents, no shoes, tattered clothes, no diapers or bottle for the baby let alone the two older siblings (11/12) taking care of the younger three. It's shocking.

A Bobbi Bear foster mum (Lovely Lorna)had an extra sippy cup so we ran over to her place to get it and then back to support group for our kids bath, we didn't have the bubbles this time (i have to remember for tomorrow!) but bathtime was still enjoyable. I had brought some of the clothes left over from the girls but we had no boys clothes, so the two boys were rockin' the pink last week. After bathtime Sdudla came up to me and told me that the kids were going to be walking 2-3 hours to go see their Gogo (grandma) and extended family after group. I asked why they were walking and she replied that their Gogo didn't have any money to give them for a taxi (common mode of transport here but more like our buses than our taxis). A number of us pooled our money to pay for the taxi with a little extra for the kids to buy some food. Sdudla made sure that they got to their taxi. This week we received some clothing donations so thankfully have some more clothes and specifically boys clothes. Am looking forward to seeing the kids tomorrow :)

Load shedding and other news from South Africa

Fri, 18 Apr 08 10:52:53 +0200

So, this is my second attempt at writing this message as the power went out just as I was about to post yesterday! This phenomenon is called ‘load shedding’ and is basically rolling brown-outs; a schedule is posted to alert you as to when your area will have its power cut (usually for 2-3 hours at a time) throughout the week. Welcome to SA!

So, back up a week and a half to last Wednesday. Every Wednesday we have our Tree Clinic where women and children gather to sing, pray and to get counsel from the medical clinic for any ailments they or their children may have. This Wednesday was a special one because a local company called Beares was sponsoring their annual ‘birthday party’ at Tree. Not only had Beares delivered new furniture to Bobbi Bear for the drop-in, counseling room and beds for our place of safety, they also arrived at Tree with a tent and lots of balloons, food, drinks, desserts and goodie bags for the kids! There were well over 100 kids as schools were on holiday so it was a blast, see some of the pics below.

Towards the end of that Tree, I was called over to these 5 siblings, all of whom were in desperate need of clothing; the baby only had on a jean jacket and none had shoes. Although I had set aside some clothes that the girls had outgrown, I hadn’t brought them with me. Of course I felt awful to not have anything for them right then but we made a plan to get new clothes to them. On Saturday the same kids showed up at support group, Sdudla (one of the CSO’s) immediately grabbed me and told me that we have to wash the little and get them some clothes. Even though the little one ran away at first, I’ve never seen children so thrilled to have a bath. Note: by bath I do not mean that they’re getting bathed in a tub as they would back home, I mean bathed in a shallow basin…BUT, there were bubbles and bubbles really do make the bath. The 3/4 year old twins were so happy to be clean and cared for that the girl twin would not let me go, she just wanted to sit on my lap and share hugs, I didn’t mind either:). I didn’t realize until shortly after that these kids have no parents, both had passed away leaving the older two siblings (aged 10/12) to care for the three younger ones, a common situation in SA.

Court today for the girls has been postponed until Monday...will update you then.

Having a problem loading images, will try later...

Small victory

Mon, 07 Apr 08 17:41:03 +0200

The week-end with the girls was a lot of fun! On Saturday, after watching Black Beauty over the previous couple of days, the girls were prepped for horse back riding on "Blossom"....who is, thankfully a girl horse (as I was told from the older sister). Thanks Deon for taking us! :) On Saturday, Uncle Allen (Jackie's husband), Sindi (Jackie's daughter), me and the girls went to Crocworld, which was great fun for all of us as we got to wander around and look at the monkeys, snakes, and best of all CROCS! There was a big daddy croc that ust have weighed close to 3 tonnes.

This morning was insane but I won't get into details as the case is still pending. Good news!! We got the kids placed with the foster parents that Bobbi Bear found which is amazing and lets me breathe a sigh of relief. The girls have had some contact with this couple (who are lovely) and so they were NOT placed with strangers. I was able to give them a full briefing on the girls, the challenges, structure, preferences etc and we'll be able to see them on Saturday. We are not out of the woods yet though, we go back to court and a couple of weeks...so there is still work to do.

Although I'm very sad that they're gone, I am thrilled that they're with this couple. Tomorrow I'm going to try to sleep in past 6:30am for the first time since I've been here....

Molly out

Bad news then good news...for now

Sat, 05 Apr 08 21:22:44 +0200

A lot has happened since my last post. I have continued on with the girls where my roomies, Eline and Karlien left off; one of the other dutch volunteers also moved in to help care for the girls.

We have been desperately trying to get Social Welfare to get 'involved' in this case. The girls were suppose to be in Bobbi Bear care for only 6-weeks, I believe it's closer to 10 weeks now. With Jackie going to Holland soon (and the foster/ crisis parent) as well as the need to place these girls in a family environment, we let Social Welfare know that we had to get moving. Note to how Social Welfare works here....um, it doesn't. You would be shocked an disgusted at the poor judgement and decisions made by SW here (e.g. sending a child back to her parent home for the weekend where the father is accused of sexually assualting the child for years).

Needless to say Social Welfare has done their best to stonewall. The Social worker on this case has just made her second visit to see the girls on Thursday...after 10 weeks! Previous visits had either been cancelled or she simply didn't show up, no call, no apology and most importantly, no intention of rescheduling. In the meanwhile we have been doing our best to contact as many people as we can to help us keep these girls in safe hands. The Granny is a piece of work and has been trying to do her best to manipulate the older of the two and has now been telling them that thy'll be moving back with her after the court date in mid-April. Social Welfare has also put up a road block saying that they are looking into the granny's sister as a potential foster parent while the case is pending....she is also allegedly a 'madam' nice, eh?

The past week we have been trying especially hard to get the girls placed and feel comfident that all parties (e.g. social welfare) have the best interests of the children at heart. After finally meeting the social worker I could not feel secure in their making decisions for these children. This girl has no business managing this case, her head is up her ass and she's terrified of the granny. After her visit on the Thursday she said that they would be coming for the girls the next day but given her inconsistency for appointments we couldn't be sure.

Friday morning was awful. Both Jackie and myself had been trying to get the girls placed with a lovely couple that had shown interest in fostering the girls...of course social welfare would not consider them. We were frantic but knew we had to tell the girls that thy would probably be leaving that day. Luckily Jackie told them, lthough the younger didn't understand what was happening the older girl was traumatized, especilly since we could reassure her who she was going to live with etc. We were all very emotional, especially with the reaction of the older sibling as she is pretty tough and does not cry. I was finding it hard to imagine the girls gone and even harder dealing with not knowing where or with whom they would b placed given that their social worker is useless. I began to write a memo regarding the girls progress, habits, personalities, behavioural issues being addressed, their schedule and likes/ dislikes hoping that the foster parents would do their best to provide the same care that the Bobbi Bear team had.

As we were coming up to the time fo removal, we received an amazing call! Removal was postponed and our court date was pushed to Monday and a full inquiry has been issued for the case and the children were appointed legal counsel for our court date on Monday.

We're making the most of the weekend, went horeback riding today as the 4/5 year old LOVES horses and has been dreaming of riding a horse. Tomorrow might be a beach day (believe it or not I have been in the ocean yet or had a proper day at the beach yet.

I find it hard to believe that I only have 2 weeks left in the program, I am not ready to leave yet....

Wish us luck, Molly

Africa time actually goes quite quickly!

Sat, 22 Mar 08 09:25:39 +0100

This week us new volunteers finished our training as CSO's so we are all hoping to get to action and help out!

OIn Wednesdays we help at the Tree Clinic, this is a gathering of women and kids to pray, sing get medical care and donations of food and clothing. It's amazing to hear of how far these women walk with children tied to their backs with blankets (no strollers or 'made' slings here)to get to the Tree. Sweetie and Mabel run the Tree while us volunteers play with the kids, help to provide medical aid and in any other way we can.

This week my roomies had their farewell at the Tree with the two girls, it was very moving and special. They had to perform a Zulu dance with some ladies of the Tree and some of the kids too!

As for the girls, we have been trying to get them placed with a foster family before their two volunteer caregivers were to leave this weekend. Sadly, the Magistrate was suppose to show up yesterday to meet the kids and hopefully push through their placement. Needless to say, we were waiting all afternoon and she never did show...."this is Africa". Hopefully this will be resolved next week.

Ciao for now!

First update

Tue, 18 Mar 08 15:53:44 +0100

Wow! Sorry it's taken so long to write....as you can imagine, there are many things going on here and I am no longer hooked up to the Internet I.V. (it's taken a while to adjust to that!)

Upon arrival I was placed in a cottage with 2 volunteers and 2 young children that had been resued from a brothel about 5 weeks before. When I met the children they were (surprisingly) very well behaved, I learned only later that these two had not only been found in a brothel that was full of used condoms, with no food as well as no birth certificates, medical documentation or any other documentation. Essentially, we really are not sure who these kids are, where they came from and who their parents are.

The two had apparently been so neglected that they had never seen a toothbrush before, were scared of water (obviously rarely bathed) and the older of the two spent much of her time scratching and biting; the younger, still in diapers had been so neglected that she is developmentally delayed. The two volunteers have managed to provide a great deal of structure, care and discipline that these 2 kids are well-mannered, helpful (the older likes washing the dishes, we, of course oblige)and improving daily. The 'grandmother' has been trying to get the children back and almost had the social worker somehow convinced to do so until the 2 volunteers met with the social welfare tribunal with the case. Currently social welfare has agreed to not place the children back with their 'grandmother' but has also not (yet) agreed to place the kids with a very willing foster couple....things work VERY differently here so not quite sure what will happen next.

As for the new volunteers (incl me) we are lucky to be the first group of volunteers to receive CSO training (Child Safety Officers) from Jackie and Thuli of Bobbi Bear. This will better prepare us with our upcoming cases once training finishes. Although I've only been here for a week, I can see how 6 weeks is simply not enough time!!