Bad news then good news...for now

Posted on 05 Apr 2008 - 21:22

A lot has happened since my last post. I have continued on with the girls where my roomies, Eline and Karlien left off; one of the other dutch volunteers also moved in to help care for the girls.

We have been desperately trying to get Social Welfare to get 'involved' in this case. The girls were suppose to be in Bobbi Bear care for only 6-weeks, I believe it's closer to 10 weeks now. With Jackie going to Holland soon (and the foster/ crisis parent) as well as the need to place these girls in a family environment, we let Social Welfare know that we had to get moving. Note to how Social Welfare works here....um, it doesn't. You would be shocked an disgusted at the poor judgement and decisions made by SW here (e.g. sending a child back to her parent home for the weekend where the father is accused of sexually assualting the child for years).

Needless to say Social Welfare has done their best to stonewall. The Social worker on this case has just made her second visit to see the girls on Thursday...after 10 weeks! Previous visits had either been cancelled or she simply didn't show up, no call, no apology and most importantly, no intention of rescheduling. In the meanwhile we have been doing our best to contact as many people as we can to help us keep these girls in safe hands. The Granny is a piece of work and has been trying to do her best to manipulate the older of the two and has now been telling them that thy'll be moving back with her after the court date in mid-April. Social Welfare has also put up a road block saying that they are looking into the granny's sister as a potential foster parent while the case is pending....she is also allegedly a 'madam' nice, eh?

The past week we have been trying especially hard to get the girls placed and feel comfident that all parties (e.g. social welfare) have the best interests of the children at heart. After finally meeting the social worker I could not feel secure in their making decisions for these children. This girl has no business managing this case, her head is up her ass and she's terrified of the granny. After her visit on the Thursday she said that they would be coming for the girls the next day but given her inconsistency for appointments we couldn't be sure.

Friday morning was awful. Both Jackie and myself had been trying to get the girls placed with a lovely couple that had shown interest in fostering the girls...of course social welfare would not consider them. We were frantic but knew we had to tell the girls that thy would probably be leaving that day. Luckily Jackie told them, lthough the younger didn't understand what was happening the older girl was traumatized, especilly since we could reassure her who she was going to live with etc. We were all very emotional, especially with the reaction of the older sibling as she is pretty tough and does not cry. I was finding it hard to imagine the girls gone and even harder dealing with not knowing where or with whom they would b placed given that their social worker is useless. I began to write a memo regarding the girls progress, habits, personalities, behavioural issues being addressed, their schedule and likes/ dislikes hoping that the foster parents would do their best to provide the same care that the Bobbi Bear team had.

As we were coming up to the time fo removal, we received an amazing call! Removal was postponed and our court date was pushed to Monday and a full inquiry has been issued for the case and the children were appointed legal counsel for our court date on Monday.

We're making the most of the weekend, went horeback riding today as the 4/5 year old LOVES horses and has been dreaming of riding a horse. Tomorrow might be a beach day (believe it or not I have been in the ocean yet or had a proper day at the beach yet.

I find it hard to believe that I only have 2 weeks left in the program, I am not ready to leave yet....

Wish us luck, Molly

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Comments

Susie

05 Apr 2008 - 21:33

Stay strong Molly! You are doing a great thing over there and I am so proud of you!

Arwen Hunter

05 Apr 2008 - 21:37

Hi, I keep trying to leave comments, but they aren't showing. Maybe you've been able to see them.

Your struggle to attain loving, proper care for the girls blows my mind. I can't imagine the stressload you are carrying or how you have managed to learn the system where everything is foreign.

I think that those sisters were lucky to have you walk into their lives, if anyone knows how to fight for the underdog, it's you!

I've been thinking about you lots and it's good to see an update. I can't believe how fast the time is going.

Things here are good. Alec is still very relaxed and Sophia is amazing. She makes sure they have a good cuddle several times a day and he saves his best smiles for her.

I joined a gym! Don't laugh.

Can't wait to see you again. xoxoxo

carol rouse

05 Apr 2008 - 21:40

Well, have to admit, I teared up reading your e-mail. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to see that sort of mistreatment of children by everyone including social welfare. Thank God for people like you, Molly. They sound like special kids. Bless them. And I'll pray for them.

Ken Deal

05 Apr 2008 - 21:56

Hi Molly, this is a rough situation for those little girls. But if anyone can push their case in the right direction, it's you. Great work, sweetie. We're all very proud of you. Folks I tell back here are blown away by your courage.

Andrea

05 Apr 2008 - 23:10

Hi Molly!
Wow, you've been working hard - I know this must be very emotionally trying, but I'm so happy for you (and them) re. the recent success!! I enjoyed reading your entry and am wishing you lots of luck and love:) Andrea

Deon

05 Apr 2008 - 23:12

Hey Molly,
We only touched on the subject today, but now that I have read your blog I am truly peeved! I should of course be used to this nonsense in SA but each time it happens, it surprises me! People get good government salaries but will not take the trouble to help those they are meant to serve. I really hope that the social worker has no children of her own!

Brother John

05 Apr 2008 - 23:16

I'm very proud that you are doing this. These children certainly need someone there for them who is compassionate as well as determined. That is you! Wishing you the best,
John

Kathy Herman

06 Apr 2008 - 05:03

Oh, Molly, I am so glad you are there right now for the girls. I am in tears reading how hard you and the other volunteers are trying to save these little innocent children from the horrors the parents and grandparents expose them to and the exploitation for what, Money? Position? Comfort? It is inconceiveable the lack of value they have for God's gift of life.
If you wanted to stay longer, and could, what would you need? Can you handle more time there? Can I help in some way?
Coming from a family of 8 girls and 2 boys, I have so much sympathy and compassion for the plight of young girls in this type of prison imposed by the very people who should love them and protect them. I am grateful for the love and protection my parents gave me. I think in a past life I may have been abused. It is a haunting thought.
I am so sad for these little girls. If I could, I would love to bring them here and give them a good, caring and safe home. Who knows?
I send you all my love and support, share it with you fellow volunteers. I pray for you all that God will send his divine power to save them and keep you strong. Thank you for writing. I have been concerned for you.
In love and light,

Kathy

Tanya Woods

06 Apr 2008 - 15:59

Wow Moll! Reading your e-mail made left me feeling horrified, angry and incredibly grateful that there are people like you out there doing what you can for these children. It makes me thank god every day that my kids have been given a huge gift!
It's nice to hear that the girls are getting to experience a sense of "normalcy" this weekend - I hope they enjoy every minute.
Best of luck over the next 2 weeks.

See you soon.
Love
Tan

Katie Mardigian

07 Apr 2008 - 02:20

Molly,
Aunt Kathy sent me a link to your blog. I had heard you were in South Africa, but reading the details of exactly what you're doing has been very moving. What an important and amazing thing you are doing, and I truly hope your efforts work and the girls are placed with a loving and stable family.
I'd love to read more posts, so include me if you can!
Love,
Katie

hammer

07 Apr 2008 - 04:46

hey molly. bless you my friend for what you are doing- stay strong and remember that whatever happens in the future with these girls they will always have the memory of your group giving them solace and comfort. miss ya and wear your sunblock.

Eline

07 Apr 2008 - 09:42

Hey Molly, I'm so glad to hear that the girls are still with you!I was very upset after the phonecall, it was so nice but also strange to hear your and dorothy&lilly's voice and I really tought that the girls went in the care of the foster parents! I really hope that there will be good news monday! You doing a geat job Molly!!!I thinking of you and the girls, good luck!!
Big hug for the girls!
Love eline

Pauline

07 Apr 2008 - 13:44

Wow Molly. 50,000 visits to your blog! Think of all the people whom you have managed to reach and engage just by sharing your stories and experiences! So many people who probably didn't feel any personal connection to the issues in South Africa but now you have become their connection and made these issues real to them. You have really achieved Be More's mission of engaging people in these issues and we are very proud of the work you are doing at Bobbi Bear. I hope that the girls' situation will be solved soon! All the best!
Pauline

Leanne Hunter

07 Apr 2008 - 14:00

Hello Molly,
What a roller coaster of emotional disappointment and fear you must be riding!! Those children must feel at absolute odds with all of the different people and situations that they have to be dealing with. I can't believe that someone's "job" as a social welfare advocate can be treated with such carelessness with no repercussions - isn't there anyone who is accountable for making sure that appointments and meetings are kept? I can't even imagine the frustration you must be feeling with the "system."
I am thrilled for you that the court date has been changed - I will be thinking of you and the girls all day Monday, sending you positive thoughts and wishes.
We miss you and think about you all the time. Take care of yourself and the girls - I am sure that you have given them more than you know.
Love,
Leanne

Caroline

07 Apr 2008 - 15:35

Hey Molly,

It sounds like you are doing some fantastic work, although it certainly sounds really emotional and tiring. Keep up your spirits, we are all wishing you and the girls the best. Take care, Caro. xx

Julianne

07 Apr 2008 - 16:06

Thanks so much for keeping us up-to-date Molly! God, it makes me feel so petty when I get upset about stupid work stuff or dumb things at home (waaa - our house has ugly siding). I'm so impressed with everything you're doing over there, and making such a difference in lives where innocent people have no control over their situation. And I can't believe how fast time is going either! Enjoy every minute.

Julianne

Lisa Henderson

07 Apr 2008 - 16:23

Keep your chin up Molly. You are doing an amazing thing and I can't even imagine how heart wrenching this must get. It sounds like things are on the right track for these girls due to your struggle. Keep up the good work. You are making such a difference for these kids. God Bless.
Lisa

Name: Molly Deal

Volunteered at Bobbi Bear from 10 Mar 2008 to 19 Apr 2008

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